So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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