did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
