I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
