it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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