Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
