I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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