Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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