I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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