i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
