he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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