The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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