SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
