I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
