sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if only i could text you this smell
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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