I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
