There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
