We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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