shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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