let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
