She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
