Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
