So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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