And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
