dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
