i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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