soooo we both peed the bed last night...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
