You're a womanizer and a bitch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
