This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
