Don't EVER smell your tampon
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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