why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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