glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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