We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
