Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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