have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it because I queefed?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
