Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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