you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
