I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
