is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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