There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
