I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wear drunk well.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
