that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
