Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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