return my video game
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Found the puke drawer
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
