We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
