Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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