how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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