I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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