I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
