OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
