I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
