; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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