What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so let's talk penis.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
