they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
