hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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